by unknown
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
This little piece makes a great deal of sense and I can relate to most of what is being described. This stage of life is the most difficult for one to leave the past behind and to live in the present. I do still cling on to the college life and what it consists of because I am still fond of that life style. At this moment, I can not help that. I keep going back to my college for visits to see friends and old professors. However, I do think about my place of employment and notice that is not nearly what I envisioned two or three years ago. I want to be "more"; greater than just your ordinary average Joe. I believe I am destined for more. In that sense, my life's current state is comparable to that of The Quarter-Life Crisis.
Tomorrow I am scheduled to work the lunch shift. I am due in at 11:30am. Tomorrow I go to work in hopes of elevating myself to a higher level.
on 9:31 AM
I can so totally relate to that. Your stuck in a situation where you can't live in the past, but then again you are afraid of what the future brings. You have feelings of insecurity and being unsure oh how you thought your life would be at this time. Just have to take it one day at a time.
-Ray :)
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